A mothers guilt over natural consequences

Well, I wasn’t off to a good start with my children biking to school this morning after the week off. Bethany kept acting like she couldn’t pedal and then Mike started biking slow. Just lovely.

Finally Beth has seen a dog being walked that’s huge. A st. bernard. She stops, pets it, and keeps going. I told the owner good morning and kept going myself. I was thinking Mike is in a crappy mood. He won’t stop, but he did. Beth and I are still biking until I look back and see Mike biking towards home.

No, we don’t have to be at school at any certain time. We can just show up whenever. Ughhhh… He said the dog slobbered on his pants. So finally I get him turned around and caught up to Beth who told me before all this she needs to go use the bathroom at Hess. I start telling Mike we are going to stop at Hess and Beth needs to…. I don’t finish my sentence before he throws a fit.

We make it to Hess. (Idk why I take shortcuts when they backtrack.) Mike is still upset and throws his bike down

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How nice, the back brakes are now messed up and rubbing against his tires. I use my tools on me as best I can to get the horseshoe looking thing apart. It’s stuck. He has to pedal  10 times harder. Natural consequences. I told him I would bring more tools in the afternoon.

I did and I removed his back brakes. I told him I will fix them at home. He doesn’t have coaster brakes so I was trying to give him a few pointers on using the front brakes.

We are biking home. Down Goddard St, next is the sidewalk of Edgewater. We don’t cross over. I just always believed it to be safer, until we got to Bishop Moore High School.

Sometimes there is a guy on the corner, sometimes not. Beth crossed over. I crossed next. I heard this noise. This noise that makes my parental instincts kick in of something not right. I see 6 seconds left on the sign, a black car drive off, my son & his bike on the ground. OMG! ! ! The people exiting the high school now have the green light but I’m already off my bike and walking in the crosswalk to my baby. I’m yelling to Beth come back. She hardly hears me because it took a few times.

I find out the driver didn’t want to block traffic and came back. The lady on cart duty comes over. Then the principal.  My son looks alright. He’s not cussing the driver out. That’s a plus. He holds his arm and his whole right side hurts. He says his chest too. The bike doesn’t appear to be damaged. The driver did have his view blocked when trying to make a right on red because the silly city was a genius by putting the traffic signal box on that corner. Could have went across the road, but that would have been rocket science right there.

And I felt bad because I took my sons back brakes off so he couldn’t stop although he did have the right of way. He was so used to having his back brakes that when he really needed them, they weren’t there. Yes, he should  take care of his bike better. Yes, I feel there is a thing called natural consequences. Yes, I feel I am to blame also for my son getting hit. I feel my son is, the driver, the city, myself, but blaming is not doing any good. The solution: forgive, pray, let God inspire me from there.

Til next time, *l0v3y

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